Making Christmas

Even though I put up the tree and decorations right after Thanksgiving, I haven't really been able to get into the Christmas spirit very much this year, at least until tonight. Christmas Eve was nothing fancy for us - we went to the grandparents house to have dinner with my wife's parents, but it was just coconut shrimp and salad, with no ceremony, just like most other days since they arrived in November. I appreciate that her dad likes to cook for us, even if it's just simple foods. He spends most of the rest of his time listening to Fox News with headphones and playing solitaire on his computer, but he is usually willing to do what needs to be done at any given time. I've been more frustrated with her mom, who usually seems more engaged with her phone than with us or her grandson, and who doesn't really contribute much on a regular basis, but she seemed to be making an effort to participate today and help corral and entertain our son, and I have been asking my wife to work on feeling and expressing gratitude more often, so I should do the same. I'm fortunate that they are here and spending time with us for the holidays. 

We will host them at our house tomorrow for presents and a more formal dinner, but I'm really looking forward to my parents arriving on Monday and having a second Christmas with them on Tuesday. My wife's family just doesn't do cozy the way my family always made Christmas. But tonight I'm taking my time to relax with soft Christmas music on headphones, a dark room lit by the lights on the tree, the dog curled up between my legs, and some post-bedtime quiet time to take a pause to feel Christmas. I wrapped the presents this morning, and I've been thinking about what food to prepare for Christmas with my parents and a new year celebration with both sets of parents. My mom said she would make au gratin potatoes, and my dad said he would make his traditional wild rice. I had said I would make roasted brussels sprouts, but we hadn't settled on a main entrée. My parents had beef wellington at their house today, and I think my father in law is cooking steaks for us tomorrow, so beef is out. We traditionally had ham for Christmas at my parents' house, but my wife says if we have that she won't eat it. She proposed chicken, but that didn't sound especially festive as she suggested preparing it. Anyway, I think I've settled on cooking coq au vin. I rarely cook these days, but with time to shop and cook next week, and with my parents here to watch our son while I do that, it seems like the right occasion. And I used to enjoy it, and I love coq au vin and rarely have it. It seems rich enough for the occasion while still meeting my wife's request for poultry.

I guess, coming back to the headline, I'm making Christmas as much for myself as for my family. It would be nice to be carefree at Christmastime the way I was as a child and young adult, but I've been on the receiving end of a lot of effort for many years, and I'm learning what it means to pay that forward and back. But right now, with my music and Christmas tree and warm blanket, I can give myself a happy moment. And I'm sharing that moment with you.